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Self-Responsibility Starts with an ‘I’

In the following three scenarios what do the people have in common?

Josie is a woman in her twenties. She still lives at home with her mother who makes all Josie’sresponsibilitiesw important decisions: how to spend her money, who to go out with, even what clothes to wear. Josie is anxious and depressed.

Matt ordered a new printer for his office. When it arrived he discovered it wasn’t compatible with his computer. “Those idiots,” he ranted, “why didn’t they tell me this was the wrong printer.”

Sally and Jerry had a big fight. Now Sally’s tossing and turning in the bedroom while Jerry beds down on the sofa. Neither one is getting any sleep and both think the other should make the first move to apologize.

If your answer was “Hey, no one is taking any personal responsibility here,” you’ve got a good eye for human behavior.

Because what Josie and Matt and Sally and Jerry all have in common is a lack of self-responsibility that leaves them dependent and victimized. They’re caught up in blaming others for their problems and waiting for somebody else to come along and make their life right. Unfortunately, they’re going to have a long wait because, in the words of self-esteem expert Nathaniel Branden, “No one is coming.”

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This is the good news! Your life is in your hands. You get to make the choices, elect the options and take the actions that come with self-responsibility. It’s through the door of self-responsibility that personal power and independence enter, often hand-in-hand, bearing gifts of confidence and self-esteem.

Be clear though, self-responsibility is not the same as feeling responsible or accepting the blame for bad things that have happened or situations that are painful. We don’t all enter the world with the same trappings, and people, events or circumstances have wreaked trauma and caused wounds from which many are recovering. Self-responsibility means that when you have worked through your grief or anger or other issues, you can ask yourself: Now what am I going to do? What options do I have?

At the other end, self-responsibility doesn’t mean becoming so self-reliant you don’t ask for help when you need it or seek others’ opinions or points of view. And it certainly doesn’t mean you have to know everything, make every decision alone or take on the world single-handedly.

Rather than a heavy burden, self-responsibility can be a source of joy. Knowing you can create the life you want by accepting responsibility for yourself is a great freedom. Even saying the words aloud can produce a feeling of power and strength. Try it.

  • I am responsible for my choices and actions
  • I am responsible for how I use my time
  • I am responsible for my behavior and communication with others
  • I am responsible for achieving my desires, dreams and wishes
  • I am responsible for the work I do and the quality I bring to that work
  • I am responsible for the values I live by and standards I set

Granted, saying the words out loud can be a little scary and intimidating as well as empowering. Accepting and acting out of self-responsibility isn’t like falling off the proverbial log; it’s not that easy. It takes practice and working through and making mistakes and falling back and finding yourself in a place you didn’t want to be again. But that’s the thing about personal growth, the place to start is where you are.

It’s great to be able to muscle test how strong or weak you are on each of these to better know where to focus your changes. Don’t know how to muscle test? Visit my store for the Learning to Muscle Test DVD which teaches you how to muscle test on yourself and others.

What has helped you to overcome selfishness and become self-responsible? Join the conversation below…

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

Ten Ways to Simplify Your Life

Ten Ways to SImplify your lifeThese days a chorus of thousands has taken up Henry David Thoreau’s advice to “Simplify, simplify.” And for good reason. Few among us would deny our lives are too complicated and filled with too much stress.

Simplicity is about eliminating clutter – from your mind, your home, your relationships and your lifestyle. Following are ten ways to begin.

1. Get a clear idea of what you want your life to look like. This picture will help you discover what you must eliminate.

2. Let go of projects, roles or self-imposed obligations that take up time and keep you away from what you really want.

3. Say ‘No’ to what you don’t want in your life. Say Yes to what you do want.

4. Schedule “break” days for yourself where you don’t do anything but what you really want. Don’t cancel them.

5. Make a “to do” day and get all those chores and errands done in a single day.

6. Create space. File away or toss out; give away, sell or trade.

7. Make and return phone calls only during certain hours.

8. Shop only when you have to. Question your purchases. Consuming less is good for the planet, too.

9. Ask for and accept help. Delegate chores. Hire work done when possible.

10. Remember to breathe, to ground yourself and be physically present.

Simplifying means making choices that will improve the quality of your life.

*Bonus* A gratitude list will help you discover what really matters to you. Let’s start a list together! Join the conversation down below in the comments section! I’m looking forward to seeing what you are grateful for!

 

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

How Well Do You Stay in the Present?

How Well Do You Stay in the Present?The way to live a full and rich life, to deepen our connections with others and to experience true intimacy is by staying in the present moment. Yet much of what we do and how we live takes us out of the present and ricochets us into some unknown future or drags us back into the mire of the past. Other times, we simply “space out,” disconnect from where we are, who we’re with, and what we’re doing.

The great spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said mindfulness is to be present in the present moment. Take the following quiz to discover how much, and in what ways you detach from the present moment.

T/F 1. I have a tendency to live in the future, projecting into tomorrow, or next week or even years from now.

T/F 2. I spend much of my time thinking about the past, replaying conversations or reliving incidents or events, or I play “what if” in my mind.

T/F 3. Sometimes when I’m in conversation with someone, I can’t remember what was just said.

T/F 4. When eating a meal, my family often watches TV or videos or reads.

T/F 5. In talking with someone, I think of how I’m going to respond rather than listening to what the other person is saying.

T/F 6. I tend to worry.

T/F 7. I try to figure out how things will work out or what someone else will do.

T/F 8. I allow the telephone or pager to interrupt whatever I’m doing.

T/F 9. I often/frequently hope for something better or different.

T/F 10. I often/frequently dread something worse will happen.

T/F 11. I find myself always busy, with never an empty or spare moment.

T/F 12. When I am feeling uncomfortable in a situation, I change the subject or get up and move around, or get something to eat/drink/smoke/do.

T/F 13. In some situations, I find myself getting sleepy or yawning when I’m not really tired.

T/F 14. I find it difficult to maintain eye contact when I’m talking with someone.

T/F 15. Sometimes I can’t remember what I just read or I don’t know what just took place in the movie or video I’m watching.

T/F 16. When I’m with certain people, we talk about others (gossiping, discussing shortcomings or talking about their problems).

T/F 17. I take my cell phone everywhere and it’s always on.

T/F 18. My conversations with others tend to be about superficial subjects.

T/F 19. Rather than staying with my emotions and naming them (“I am feeling…”), I attempt to alter the feelings.

T/F 20. In my family or with my partner, we watch TV programs that we don’t really care about rather than interact with each other.

Many of us may feel a push-pull when it comes to intimacy. We want to be closer to others, but the vulnerability that it demands is too frightening. Or we may feel restless or distracted or just plain uncomfortable when we attempt to stay in the present.

If this quiz brought up some things for you that you’d love to do some energy work on to release negative triggers, please visit my Certified SimplyHealed™ Practitioner page. These wonderful Certified SimplyHealed™ Practitioners can help you feel more peace, joy and balance in your life!

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

Energy Work Can Improve Relationships

In this video, Jolene Victor of Victory Energy Wellness joins me to talk about her experience as a SimplyHealed PractitionerTM and how it has improved her relationships with her family members.

Find out more about taking the SimplyHealed training here.

10 Behaviors that Block Happiness

10 Behaviors that Block HappinessSpring is the time for new beginnings and that means Spring Cleaning to let go of what is not serving you. We all seek that elusive quality of “happiness.” Here are some things you can place your awareness on and clean out of your life so you can be happier.

Impressing. What you have —your possessions, your accomplishments—don’t result in real relationship or lasting happiness.

Blaming. Your response to any situation is your choice. Try making it a learning opportunity—taking responsibility is empowering.

Controlling. It doesn’t help you feel good about yourself. Honor your boundaries, but make space for others’ needs and choices, too.

Criticizing. We are all unique and different, not better or worse. Appreciate the differences instead of zeroing in on shortcomings.

Whining. Complaining is ineffective, whereas asking for what you want is liberating.

Clinging to what is known. When you’re feeling afraid or insecure, be willing to let go of the familiar, take a risk and try something new.

Being Ungrateful. Stay aware of all the gifts and blessings that you do have. Express gratitude and happiness will follow.

Preaching. Another form of judging. Find more fun and empowering ways to share your knowledge.

Negative Self-talk. Train yourself to notice your mind’s chatter. Working towards changing negative thoughts to positive ones will transform your life.

Fear. Don’t let fear get in the way of progress. Whatever you’ve been dreaming, get going on it. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

How have you been able to overcome these negative behaviors in your life? How have you become better at recognizing these behaviors and stopping them? Share with us below…

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

Muscle Testing

Muscle TestingMuscle testing is a great little tool that provides information on energy blockages, the functioning of the organs, nutritional deficiencies, and food sensitivities, among other things. It can also be used to test the body’s responses to herbs, essential oils, and other remedies. It is a non-invasive way of evaluating the body’s imbalances and assessing its needs. The body’s responses will either test strong or weak when applying slight pressure to any muscle.

I’ve taught classes on muscle testing for many years, and have noticed one thing that people really seem to struggle with.

I often get asked, “If you’re testing supplements it will always give you an answer either yes or no, and that will be a ‘Universal truth’”.

But when you’re testing for emotional issues it may test strong for someone on a negative belief they have about themselves but that is not a “Universal truth”, it is just a false-belief they have about themselves. It is just their own truth they have come to believe.”

So why does muscle-testing give the truth on
remedies, and not the ‘real’ truth for
negative misperceptions about ourselves?

Why does it work one way with remedies & supplements,
etc, and in a different way with emotions?

I can understand the confusion about this IF you are assuming that a strong response always means true and that a weak response always means false.

Think of it more in the sense of how does that resonate with what my patterns and beliefs are. Because what we are actually testing is:

Does this resonate with my body?
Does this resonate with my emotions?
Does this resonate with what my belief about this issue is?

Whenever you say or think something that resonates as true with your subconscious mind, the electrical and magnetic fields around your body actually become stronger therefore strengthening the muscle.

Similarly, when you say or think something that resonates as false with your subconscious mind, the electrical and magnetic fields around your body actually become weaker, so the muscle will test weak.

Let’s take this example of a woman who is a good mother, but is struggling in that area right now. If I test this statement on her:

“I am a good mother” and it goes weak, it is not saying that that statement is false and the truth is that she really is not a good mother – that is not a “Universal truth” It is simply showing that she has some doubts about her mothering at that time (or some stored ones) in her subconscious or conscious mind that are weakening the electrical and magnetic fields. The worry and doubt she has about it are what is making it weak.
The fact that it is not a “Universal truth” does not mean that the muscle testing is working in a different way than if we were simply testing for a supplement.
Again, we are seeing how strong or weak the energy is, not if something is true or false.

muscle test coverI hope that clears that up! Feel free to add your comments below and let me know…

If you need more clarity or want to WATCH and learn how muscle testing is done, I recommend my DVD, The Art of Muscle Testing available here. That way you can watch it as many times as you need to, practice, practice, practice and you’ll be a pro muscle tester in no time!

Long-distance energy therapy

Long-distance energy therapyI offer long-distance energy healing, and many people ask me how this is done — how is it possible for this therapy to be conducted over the phone, long distance?

Because energy is not limited by time or distance, the work is just as powerful whether I’m working with someone in person one on one or we’re speaking over the telephone. When doing phone sessions, I simply muscle-test on myself to get the feedback from the client’s energy. Likewise, I do the integration on myself for the client. Read more

What is muscle testing?

What is muscle testing?Muscle testing is a noninvasive way of evaluating the body’s imbalances and assessing its needs. It involves testing the body’s responses to the application of slight pressure to a large muscle, which provides information on energy blockages, the functioning of the organs, nutritional deficiencies, and food sensitivities, among other things. Muscle testing is part of a medical discipline known as applied kinesiology. Read more