Conquer Your Fears and Empower Yourself

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by fear—so much so that it prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? Believe it or not, this is a common problem faced by many people every single day.

Fear has the power to hold you back from taking risks, following your dreams or becoming successful at anything you attempt to do. If you allow it to control you for long enough, it can eventually erode your quality of life and keep you locked in a prison of inactivity.

What many people fail to realize is that fear is nothing more than a conditioned response. It’s a natural reaction to a frightening or unfamiliar situation. While it is usually automatic, there are things you can do to overcome it. Here are three…

Check Your Expectations

One major contributor of fear is the prevalence of negative expectations. Do you usually find yourself expecting the worst in every situation? Do you worry obsessively about what could go wrong, rather than focusing on your strengths and capabilities?

If you make a conscious effort to expect the best, see the positive side of each situation and keep reminding yourself that you can handle more than you think, you’ll find yourself with much less fear to deal with. Even if feelings of fear do manage to creep into your consciousness, you’ll still be able to keep them in perspective and balance them against an underlying sense of confidence.

Discredit Your Fears

Experts will tell you that the majority of things you fear will never come to pass anyway. While this may be true, it sure doesn’t feel that way when fear has a choke hold on you! However, if you look a little more closely at your fears when they arise, you may be able to dismiss at least a few.

For example, if you have a fear of public speaking but you want to give a presentation at your local Chamber of Commerce, you might feel like your entire business reputation is on the line. You may fear stumbling over your words or worry that your colleagues will lose respect for you if you don’t do a good job.

But is any of this likely to happen? In most cases, no. Rather than spend your time worrying about what “might” happen if you don’t give a solid presentation, spend it brainstorming ways to help improve your performance, such as being well prepared, practicing your delivery on friends and family members, writing notes to yourself and so on.

Do the Very Thing You Fear

When you remember that fear is simply a feeling, it loses much of its power. It can’t harm you. Except in truly threatening situations, you can choose to ignore it and move forward anyway.

If you weigh the pros and cons in any situation, you may decide that the possibility of negative consequences is minimal so there’s nothing to stop you from ignoring your fear and going for it!

You will determine this on a case-by-case basis, of course. The point isn’t to become reckless with your decision-making but rather to empower yourself to know when a fear is groundless and easily overcome. You’ve got this my friend!

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

Brenè Brown says…

I’m long-time a Brenè Brown fan. She just seems to put my feelings into words so much better than I ever can.

In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brenè defines connection as:

“the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued;
when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive
sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

A big part of my work is helping people with CONNECTIONS, first of all with themselves: body, spirit, heart, and mind. Also by energetically releasing negative thought patterns and emotions so they can connect to their purpose and to the best version of themselves.

I also help my students with connections to others by teaching them how to clean up “energetic clutter” between two people. Any relationship- romantic, or co-workers, or parent/child, etc. can get negative and uncomfortable emotions in the mix from time to time, and it’s so great to have energy clearing skills to help balance those emotions. What I know to be true is,

connecting with other people on an authentic level is not only an
important skill…it’s needed now more than ever in our families, and in
business it is the new currency for success.

Having and keeping a healthy, positive connection to our own hearts and with our family and friends is the sweetness of life, because after all, as human beings we are hard-wired for connection. Brenè says:

“The need for connection makes the consequences of
disconnection that much more real and dangerous.”

If you’re feeling the need for more authentic connection in your life I’d love to help you leave the danger of disconnection behind and step into the powerful vibration of CONNECTION at one of my upcoming events.

If either one speaks to you go ahead, follow the nudge, click the link and check it out, and feel free to email support@carolyncooper.com with any questions.

SimplyHealed for YOU training November 2 & 3, 2017
Learn for yourself how to do graceful, effective energy healing to strengthen your CONNECTIONS (and a WHOLE lot more) EARLY BIRD special for this class ends FRIDAY 29th!
Learn more here: http://simplyhealed.com/simplyforyou/

Find Yourself Women’s Retreat October 16-19, 2017
Enjoy the stunning beauty of Zion Canyon in the autumn, where you’ll Clear your mind, Calm your body, Claim your spirit, and CONNECT to your heart.
Learn more here: http://simplyhealed.com/retreat/

Have a SIMPLY great day!

What’s In YOUR Genes?

One of the many healing parts of my SimplyHealed work is cleaning up the energetic DNA, and releasing emotions from the traumas, abuse, persecution, war, etc. that our ancestors lived through and science now proves we really do inherit. It’s powerful stuff, and clearing these emotions can make such a difference in how we feel, how we then behave, and what we can ultimately accomplish.

I’ve done this generational work for years, it’s so fascinating to learn what we have inherited and see how lives change when those limiting emotions are released.

I was recently working with a client, I’ll call her Amy (not her real name) who had struggled her whole life with not feeling good enough. No matter the situation, she always felt she was “less than” everyone else.

She explained to me how she longed to be a person who didn’t come home after every social gathering she attended and berate herself.

“Did I say the wrong thing? Was I too awkward when meeting that new person? Did they understand what I meant, or did I offend someone? Were my clothes too dressy? Too casual?”

She told me how she knew she had missed out on many opportunities for friendships, career advancement, and fun because of this. But what she really feared was how her insecurities could affect her children. This was the most painful part for her.

Amy had done some personal work on this, and as she put it was “way better than she used to be.” But there was still something holding on that she just couldn’t seem to shake!

As I worked with her in a session what came up very strongly was that this feeling of inadequacy had been carried in her family lines for many generations. On her father’s side, feeling belittled, ridiculed, even persecuted were the words and emotions that came up during that session. SimplyHealed can release those stuck emotions in a a graceful yet thorough way, so that’s just what we did for Amy.

She later reported to me that she now understands that she is truly an important person, with an important life to live, just like everyone else, and that owning her power in this way has changed how she is as a mom, wife, friend, employee. Those scared-of-not-being-good-enough voices in her head rarely show up now. It’s beautiful to see the change in her countenance, her actions, even the way she walks into a room.

If you have ancestors (that’s you), learning this information is essential! Click the link below to learn more about generational healing and how it affects your family, on my free online webinar called:

Generational Healing:
The missing link to your success and happiness

Click here to learn more.

Top 10 Barriers to Connection

When people come to us with a problem, it’s easy to lapse into behaviors that—although usually well-meaning—serve to block us from hearing the other person’s experience. We’d be better off following the words of this inside-out saying: “Don’t just do something; stand there”…and try not to:

  1. Counsel. Seek not to advise solutions (until asked) but listen and reflect back the person’s experience.
  2. Defend. When you explain, justify or rationalize, you invalidate the other’s experience. You can create a time to offer your experience, but for now, just listen.
  3. Shut down. This happens in parenting when we say things like: “Stop crying. It’s not that bad.” Children are more likely to stop crying when they feel they’ve been heard.
  4. One-up. Saying, “Oh, that’s nothing! Listen to what happened to me!” gives the message, “Your experience doesn’t count.”
  5. Reassure. It’s OK for people to feel their feelings. When we try to console (“It’s not your fault; you did the best you could…”), we take people out of their feelings.
  6. Pity. Sympathy and pity (“Oh, you poor thing!”) are very different from empathy, which is simply a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing.
  7. Commiserate. Sharing stories of your own similar experiences is not showing empathy; it turns the focus away from the person with the problem.
  8. Correct. First listen. After the other person feels fully understood, then see about correcting any misunderstandings or inaccurate impressions.
  9. Enlighten. Don’t attempt to educate unless your opinion is asked.
  10. Interrogate. Too many questions distract from the feelings at hand.
Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Let me be honest…SimplyHealed is my baby.

Let me be honest…SimplyHealed is my baby. I’ve nurtured her and grown her for many years. This work has changed my life and thousands of student’s lives as well (not to mention their families and clients).

I’m usually not this bold to speak of my life’s work like this, but this email seems to be writing itself…

Because…do you feel it? Now is the time, our world needs light-workers. We need women and men of integrity who have tools that can cut the tethers of limiting beliefs, that can clean up negative emotions from the past (our own and our ancestors), that can help people be the best version of themselves.

After all, isn’t that what we are all doing? Trying to become the best version of ourselves?

SimplyHealed doesn’t just bring about transformation, it requires it. But don’t let that scare you. It happens in a subtle, elegant way, by empowering you, at your own pace, from the inside out.

I know this because for years I’ve had students return for SimplyHealed Refresher courses after they’ve been using the SimplyHealed method for awhile and. well, they are different. More positive and confident in their actions, their speech, their intentions…they often even look different!

Why am I telling you all this today?

Because my next SimplyHealed Certification Track is coming up this spring.(How appropriate, the time of blooming!)

April 4th – 7th, 2017
in sunny St George, UT

If you are new to my tribe, let me explain what SimplyHealed is:

It’s an Energy Healing method that is simple, graceful, thorough, effective. Tried and proven over many years by many people.

Simply put, SimplyHealed is a way to be happy. To feel light, unburdened, competent, capable.

Logistics:

4-days LIVE in classroom with me and new like-minded friends

PLUS 6 months online:

  • Group Training/Coaching Calls
  • Business Training (how to get started as a practitioner)
  • Personal Healing Sessions (to optimize your mindset)
  • Private Forum (connect with seasoned practitioners & archives of info!)

I only open the doors to a special group of students in my cerTrac twice a year. I’d love you to join this group and in 6 months be living your truest life.

I want you to come for YOU, but I also want you to come for ALL the family members and clients you will be able to help. For the inspiring ripple effect you will create in our world.

How would that enhance your life?

As I mentioned before, attending a SimplyHealed course doesn’t just give you information, it brings transformation. Please don’t take only my word for it, learn more and check out the video testimonials from students here.

Now is the time, our world needs you to be your best self, and by doing so your light will help others rise.

Learn more, get your questions answered, and see more videos here: https://simplyhealed.com/certify/

OR, if you already know this is right for you, click here to register now.

(2-pay option ends March 3rd)

I would love to have you in this new cerTrac group beginning in April, and in 6 months from now you could have a life and a healing practice that you love!

Much love,

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Top 10 Tips for Great Idea Generation

Great ideas can mean the difference between mediocrity and huge success, between boredom and passion. Whether you want to write an e-book, plan a family trip, or even landscape your yard, consider the following tips:

1. Pay attention. Ideas come when we least expect them so awareness is often the first step. Give your mind (and imagination) space to explore the world around you.

2. Stimulate creativity. What helps take your mind in different directions? A day off? Chasing your 2-year-old? Dancing? A mastermind group?

3. Examine your beliefs. What thoughts keep you stuck in the same old same-old? Which ones sabotage your efforts or keep your ideas small?

4. Play. Play with words. Play with concepts and characters. Play both inside and outside the box.

5. Identify the “juice.” What is it you LOVE to do? See if you can incorporate that—or the energy of it—into your ideas.

6. Get your pen moving. This writers’ trick works in all kinds of scenarios to generate great ideas. Just start writing.

7. Notice what’s not working. The heart of a problem is rich with possibility for creative solutions.

8. Ask. Solicit input from people in your field of interest. Or, if you’re spiritually inclined, ask for guidance through prayer, meditation, or your inner wisdom.

9. Be open. Ideas can come from anywhere. Your teenager may articulate just the thing that will work for your needs.

10. Keep track. Great ideas are often born while driving or running or sitting at the beach. Keep your phone recorder or notebook always handy to capture them.

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Listening to Our Bodies: They Know More than We Do!

listen-to-your-bodyThe body holds much of the information we need to function at our best, but too often we ignore its messages and plow ahead with what our minds tell us.
Perhaps because we’re not taught from early on to pay attention to internal messages as well as external demands, we frequently ignore our body’s communications.
So we take another extra-strength aspirin rather than investigating what’s causing our head to ache. We use more caffeine or sugar to give us a lift when we feel tired, rather than hearing our body’s message about needing rest or recognizing our fatigue as an early symptom of burnout we’d do well to heed. A look at our pets may be all the message we need about the value of naps.
We fail to take into account the thousand little messages communicated to us by how we’re holding ourselves: the mouth that’s pinched and tight rather than relaxed. The fact that our shoulders are up around our ears, the knot of tension in our stomach as we promise to do something when closer consideration might tell us we are already over-extended.
These days we’re notorious for putting deadlines ahead of the protests of aching bones or inadequately nourished bellies. (Is there hidden wisdom in calling a due date a deadline in the first place?) Instead of asking our body what it wants, we go for the quick fill-up or the comfort food that may be the last thing we really need.
So what to do to give your body an equal say in how you use it?
Start with the breath. Breathing consciously is a major part of body awareness. Turn off thoughts and just let yourself experience the inflow and outflow of breath. Label them, “In. Out. In. Out.” Note how and where you are breathing or failing to, a clear sign something important is going on.
Allow yourself quiet time. Sit for ten minutes just observing yourself, even (especially!) in the middle of a busy day. Meditate. Take a walk or a nap. Allow time to do nothing. Soak in a hot tub rather than taking a quick shower.
Get a massage. It’s not self-indulgence to be massaged; it wakes up the whole nervous system and helps you tune in.
Use your journal to dialogue with your body. Ask your body how it’s feeling, what it wants, what’s going on. Give that sore wrist or stiff lower back a voice and let it tell you what its message is.
Eat when hungry, sleep when tired. Take a week and really pay attention to your body’s most basic needs. Do your real rhythms for eating and sleeping conform to the habits you’ve established? If they don’t, change them!
Do a body inventory to relax. Start with your toes and work upwards. Scan your body from the inside. Or try tensing each part slightly, then relaxing it to release residual tension.
Practice mindfulness. Get used to tuning in to your physical self, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing.
If your body suggests rolling down a grassy hillside, taking flight on a playground swing, or skipping down a winding path – why resist? Its impulses hold the key to our well-being!
Practice these steps for a few days/weeks and share with us your experiences below. Or if you already follow these guidelines, what are some tips you have for others?
And, if you think you can’t seem to get over the “mental hump” that is keeping you from listening to your body, please join me in August for my next Group Call on Healthy Body!

Listening Tips and Traps: How do you rate?

big earsHave you ever noticed how GOOD it feels to be really listened to? It’s impactful, particularly when the listening goes beyond just the words you’re speaking. That kind of artful listening conveys respect and value to the speaker, and promotes positive relationships of all kinds.

And, like any art, it takes practice.

According to widely referenced statistics by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, known for his pioneering work in nonverbal communication, only 7% of communication happens through a person’s actual words (38% through tone and 55% through body language). That’s why it’s important to hone our skills to listen at deeper levels.

A good place to start is by understanding the three listening levels described in the book Co-Active Coaching, by Laura Whitworth, Henry Kimsey-House and Phil Sandahl.

Listening Levels
Level 1Internal: We hear the other person’s words, but our focus is on what it means to us—our thoughts, feelings, judgments and conclusions. We may also be concerned with what the other person thinks of us. This level is useful for checking in with our feelings or to make decisions.

Level 2Laser-Focused: Our attention is focused like a laser beam on the other person, with little awareness of anything else. With such strong focus, we are curious, open and have little time to pay attention to our own feelings or worry about how we are being received. Mind chatter disappears with such a sharp focus.

Level 3Global: Our attention is spread out like an antenna with a 360-degree range. It allows us to pick up emotions, energy, body language and the environment itself. Intuition heightens as we tune into the deeper layers of what is going on around us.

All three levels are necessary. However, when we spend too much time in self-focused Level 1 listening, our communication can seriously suffer. Engaging all three levels at once, with more emphasis on Levels 2 and 3, can improve how we listen—and the impact of how we are received.

Listening Blocks
Having spent more than 20 years training business people in listening skills, Richard Anstruther and his team of communication experts at HighGain, Inc., have identified five main listening blocks:

Tune Out—Listeners are not paying attention to the speaker due to disinterest in the speaker or subject, thinking about other things or multitasking.

Detach—Listeners are emotionally detached from the speaker, concerned with content only, not the feelings behind it. They may be only half listening, not really interacting, and miss the message’s underlying meaning.

Rehearse—Listeners are concentrating on what to say or do next, rather than focusing on the speaker’s message.

Judge—Listeners have a different opinion that causes them to block out new ideas and information or lose track of the conversation. They analyze and interpret the speaker’s delivery or message, missing the point. They criticize, give advice and make assumptions.
 
Control—Listeners don’t allow the speaker to talk at his or her own pace. They constantly interrupt with comments or questions, and don’t allow the speaker to finish a point.

Try This!
Below are a few suggestions for honing your listening skills. Enjoy!

1. Experiment with Levels 1, 2 and 3 listening, one at a time, to fully understand the dynamics at each level. Try this in everyday conversation, or practice with someone. Take turns telling a story and listening. The results may surprise you!

2. Spend some time noticing how often you fall into tuning out, detaching, rehearsing, judging or controlling. What can you do to keep from falling into these common traps?

3. In your everyday conversations, or in an intentional practice session with a partner, explore each listening block, one at a time. Notice how you feel and the impact on the person with whom you are communicating.

The first step to developing artful listening is to choose to truly listen. As you continue to develop your listening skills, your communications and your relationships are likely to become increasingly satisfying and rich!

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications
 

Procrastination—Everyone Talks About It, but Nobody Does Anything

procrastinationImagine the space this article fills as blank.
Imagine the time and energy it might have taken someone who procrastinates to: 1) think about doing the article, 2) put it on a list of “to dos,” 3) talk about doing it, 4) promise himself he will start it tomorrow, 5) promise himself he will definitely start it tomorrow, 6) promise…well, you get the point.
As the deadline for the article draws near (it’s midnight the night before the article is due), imagine the stress the writer must feel as he brews a pot of coffee and sets himself up for a couple of hours to research the topic, organize the information, create an outline, come up with a dynamite opening line, write the article, rewrite the article, rewrite it again, print it out and rewrite it one more time. And, of course, the whole time he’s beating himself up for waiting so long to start and telling himself he’s no good at this job anyway and the article will be a bust.
This is procrastination in full, weedy flower. Delay. Broken promises and unfulfilled expectations. Feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Worry. Fear. Stress. Overwork and probably not as good an end product as the writer would have produced if he’d tackled the job in a timely, reasonable, professional manner.
Procrastination isn’t good for anyone, anytime. So why do so many do it? Not just around such matters as filing income tax and completing holiday shopping, but with everyday tasks such as cleaning off the desk or straightening up the garage or starting a project at work.
The more difficult, inconvenient or scary the task is perceived to be, the more procrastinators procrastinate. They come up with semi-convincing self-talk that makes the delay appear reasonable, but in the end it’s a self-defeating behavior that causes all sorts of problems, not the least of which is stress.
Following are a few remedies to overcome procrastination:
 
1. Set goals. Decide what you want and what needs to happen to get it. Be specific. Create a realistic timetable.
 
2. Commit. Make a contract with yourself. Tell a friend or co-worker or family member your plan. Ask for help when you need it.
 
3. Set priorities. Make a list of things that need to be done in order of their importance.
 
4. Get organized. Have the right tools and equipment to do the job. Make lists. Keep a schedule.
 
5. Think small. Don’t let the whole of the project overwhelm you. Stay in the present and do what you are doing.
 
6. Break tasks into parts. The “Swiss cheese” approach to getting any major project completed is to break it apart and work on one piece at a time. Reward yourself when you complete one step.
 
7. Use positive self-talk.
 
8. Replace excuses with rational, realistic thinking.
 
9. Realize there is no such thing as perfection. Begin the thing knowing it can never be done perfectly. You’ll do your best. You always do.
 
10. Reward yourself. Often and generously for accomplishing the smallest of tasks. Celebrate. Pat yourself on the back. Enjoy your accomplishment.
Like many other self-defeating behaviors, procrastination can be overcome. The place to begin is where you are.
The time to start is now.
Author’s content used  under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Raising Compassionate Kids

compassionate kidsHow to raise kids who are kind and considerate is a hot topic these days. With so much bullying happening in the world, both in schools and via the Internet, it seems more important than ever to raise kids who can be thoughtful and empathetic towards other people.

Children have an inborn capacity for compassion. Although you can take steps to raise a compassionate child who is kind to others yet strong enough to stand up to hurtful words and actions when necessary, the most important thing to remember is that children may listen to what we say, but they model themselves on how we behave. This means that if you practice and demonstrate compassion (with yourself, your child and the other people in your world), your child is very likely to emulate that behavior.

Here are some ideas to help you integrate compassion into your everyday life in ways that you can share with your child:

Volunteer. Show your child that all people deserve kindness by serving together at a soup kitchen or volunteering with Habitat for Humanity. Let your child choose a volunteer activity that builds on interests they already have (for instance, the Humane Society if they love animals or reading aloud to the blind if they love to read).

Get a pet or a small plot of dirt to cultivate. When a child is invested in the care of another living thing, they learn about nurturing themselves and others and are less likely to engage in bullying. And most pets and plants require time outdoors, so you’ll both get a good dose of fresh air!

Practice listening. Darcia Narvaez, a writer for Psychology Today, says: “…if you are treated with empathy, you will treat others the same way.” When your child is hurting, instead of responses like “keep your chin up” or “boys don’t cry,” invite your child to share his or her feelings. Particularly with younger children, hug them to provide soothing reassurance that it’s okay to experience and express feelings of distress. When they feel loved and fully heard, it will be easier for them to listen to others with an open and compassionate heart.

Limit time with violent video games and television shows. Numerous studies have shown that media violence promotes aggression and desensitizes kids to the consequences of violent behavior.

Travel to a foreign country or a neighborhood very different from your own. Traveling to a place where people have a different culture, language and music shows a child that differences can be both interesting and fun!

Activities that promote compassion mean you’ll be bonding with your child in ways you can both feel good about. In addition, activities like volunteering or growing a garden serve another purpose—they remind both of you that you have something valuable to offer the world. Your child’s growing self-respect can help turn the tide of bullying and the devastating effect that this has on children’s lives.

Think it’s too late for teens and young adults? Think again. It may not be as easy to get their attention away from the things going on in their busy lives, but keep trying. Maybe start with yourself and set the example. When they see how much fun and joy you are getting from it, they may just decide to join you!


And of course, if you are a grandparent, you have eager and willing participants in your grandchildren.

 

It’s never too late to be a positive influence in the lives of your children (and grandchildren).

 
Author’s content used  under license, © 2008 Claire Communications